It’s a shame to say that I, like most millennials and younger generations, don’t know their Greek mythology much. That, or what we know comes from The Simpsons, even if Wikipedia or the primary texts are available. The Return, from director Uberto Pasolni, is presumably book accurate with a mix of demystification and postmodern existentialism. Our (anti)hero King Odysseus (Ralph Fiennes), tells the story of the Trojan Horse to his two young and enthusiastic rescuers. He’s not necessarily happy about this story because war is less about bravery and more about destroying beauty. Despite moping, Odysseus gets these youths’ respect, the exact opposite of what he gets when he comes home.

Odysseus, then, returns to his legendary Kingdom of Ithaca, posing as a beggar, the nobles giving him a beating. I guess it makes sense to keep this ruse because declaring his true identity may lead to certain death. The upstart nobles aren’t his kingdom’s only problem, as they’re also pressuring his wife, Queen Penelope (Juliette Binoche). They’re pressuring her to marry, which makes their son, Prince Telemachus (Charlie Plummer) run away, putting them in danger. Odysseus and Telemachus return home to Penelope, who challenges the suitors, telling them that she’ll marry the strongest suitor. The test involves bending an arrow that only Odysseus can, and she watches, waiting for Odysseus to show up.

The Return has some Easter eggs especially for people who have some bit of history geekery within them. The cut from the water to Penelope’s wine dark shroud is for people who know their Grecian colour vocabulary. This is also a film that, and I’m trying to be professional here, shows Fiennes in all his glory. This is, after all, a film about Ancient Greece, a time many know for its homosexuality and nudity. Greek art is replete with muscular bodies and perhaps the film tries to reflect that time’s culture of perfection. But I feel like Pasolini’s screenplay, which he co-write with Edward Bond, needs less of Fiennes moping and more on explaining how everyone looks muscular.

Fiennes, looking like swole Voldemort, or Swoledemort, serves as a version of the male gaze, as a butch drag version of a man. The only man that The Return covers up is Antonious (Marwan Kenzari), which somehow feels like a crime. Antonious is the film’s most cunning suitor, covered up like Penelope, gazing at the men against whom she’s plotting. To Binoche’s credit, she gives Penelope more than a woman trying to kill men with death stares they deserve. For all the film’s postmodernism and questioning masculinity, it gives Penelope and other female characters less to do. As per the original text, she tests these men’s strength and that test, like the film, falls flat.

Watch The Return in select Canadian theatres. I also just want to say that it’s funny that I watched this before watching Conclave, I’ll get to that one, I swear.