When you are planning to enjoy some ‘fromage’ sometimes you’ve just gotta go as stinky as humanly possible in this inaugural edition of “The Pantheon of Trash” where we take the usual rules and turn them on their head…what’s good is bad and more importantly what’s bad…is oh so very good.
As we dive head first into the Andy Sidaris oeuvre with an effort from his son Christian Sidaris as he gets into the director’s chair with The Dallas Connection which is an affably silly affair that doesn’t spend too much time on acting and character development then it does on sex, sand and action.
The profusion of weapons of mass destruction by terrorists leads the United Nations to an in-depth strategy for eliminating contraband weapons. Using atomic-age technology, a group of scientists from around the world create a system to seek and destroy such weaponry. The scientists are to meet in Dallas to activate the system, however before the plan can be executed, a deadly team of stunning beauties begins terminating the scientists one by one. Using cover as exotic dancers, they take on a crack team of federal agents with the same fervor, seducing men and stealing the invaluable computer chips to the top secret system. Will the agents win out amid the explosive raid on the enemy compound? Can they recover the chips and complete The Dallas Connection?
Let’s get something straight, there’s just no way that you can honestly judge these films on any kind of typical scale. I mean this stuff is the hybrid between Michael Bay and a film that qualifies as ‘adult entertainment’ and to be fair I’ve seen better character work in adult films. That being said, The Dallas Connection is an affable piece of no-brain, borderline racist, sexist entertainment…if you’re into that sort of thing.
It’s the second film from Christian (or Drew) Sidaris and while no one will ever mistake this for any kind of hard hitting action/drama that gets engaged on an emotional level, the action is actually descent. It’s working on the cheap but not skimping when it needs to spend the money. It’s reasonably well staged and has some flow to it from top to bottom. The script is a goofy mess, but there’s legitimate structure to it but I just kind of wish that it had picked a tone to either be silly sex action or a straight action movie. These films are so all over the map at times that they are simply a genre until to themselves and that’s OK.
The special features include an introduction from director/producer Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain, a feature length audio commentary track, trailers and some behind the scenes featurettes.
The cold reality is that the movies in this Andy Sidaris canon like The Dallas Connection are never going to be mistaken for art, but in the pantheon of trash they have a solid place of honor. While this one needed to pick a lane a little better, it’s still a worth entry.
The Dallas Connection is available now on Blu-Ray at all major retailers from our friends at Mill Creek Home Entertainment.
