The Matrix has been broken….

While we’ll admit to a rare few moments where our mouths curled up in an attempt at a smile, the real problems with One Night Only are far more severe.

Recently dumped Owen (Callum Turner) and hopeful romantic Allie (Monica Barbaro) might be the only two singles in the city looking for more than just a quick encounter, especially on this night in the near future, the only time pre-marital sex is allowed to be had during the year. They both feel a spark when they meet, but a series of missteps and side quests complicate their night, keeping them apart. As they each race toward and away from each other across the city, they just might discover that the one thing they want most is closer than they think.

The idea of the trailer that this is The Purge….but for sex does not carry all that far.  At its worst, One Night Only is an offensive piece of dreck that assumes we all play and exist only to indulge our basic instincts and at its best, it’s just not funny with two leads that are forcing their barely their chemistry down our throats.

Whenever writer/director Will Gluck has tackled the awkward sex comedy genre, the results have been at best….uneven.  For every intelligent Easy A there’s a generally banal Friends With Benefits which means he should probably stick to making Peter Rabbit movies, but we’ll at least give him a partial pass here.  Gluck didn’t write a word in the script from Travis Braun which is broad, plays to the lowest common denominator when it comes to people’s relationships with sex.  It’s actually kind of offensive, not only because it has no actual faith in humanity, but more importantly because it’s not really funny.  You’d expect a sex comedy to have a little more zing to it, but considering Braun’s previous credits that are mostly children based we’re maybe not all that surprised.  It’s an attempt at social satire that just ends up being mean spirited.

Stars Callum Turner and Monica Barbaro are actually trying their best to give us some on screen sparks, and while there is the occasional moment of hope, this all falls mostly in the age old scenario of the ‘Square Peg and the Round Hole”.  Both actors are handcuffed by the premise of the movie which is essentially a “chase” for these characters to go and “get some” and nothing ever really gets off the ground.

The film is structured and meant to feel like a romp, but the sex is watered down, the attitudes towards it are juvenile and even as the story rolls out a fairly solid crop of character actors to execute beats along the narrative….I can’t help but feel like most of them were just embarrassed to be there because almost nothing in this film actually works.   I mean seriously Molly Ringwald and Levar Burton as Callum Turner’s family?

The real curse of this film is that One Night Only isn’t nearly as smart or as funny as it thinks it is.  By centering this attempt for two people to have a connection only to  get caught up in the absurdity of a “Sex Purge” is actually unwittingly advertising that instituting one might not be a terrible idea for our society to survive.  As a species it’s on us to evolve beyond our baser instincts and not let them rule our emotional life which is what any good rom-com is all about.  This all but kills the genre in reminding people that when it comes to sex, we’re all pretty goddamn stupid.  It would have made for a more entertaining 102 minutes to have these characters learn about themselves just sitting on the front step of an apartment building while making fun of everyone else.  I’d have enjoyed that.