What do you get when you mix two Oscar winning actors, a stunt/fight coordinator/first time director, and a renowned Hong Kong-American actor together? Unfortunately, not much. Love Hurts feels like a mish mash of ideas thought up by a bunch of friends having a few drinks over a long weekend – there’s one coming up. Anyway, these friends probably think they are the coolest people ever. In fact, you think love hurts? Try sitting through this movie.

Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) is an award winning real estate agent who loves his relatively normal life. Everyone loves him too. What his colleagues and clients don’t know however is that Marvin has a dark past as an assassin, working for his gangster brother Alvin (Daniel Wu). When a former target named Rose (Ariana DeBose) returns from the dead, Alvin wants answers and sends his men out to get them from his brother. Even though Marvin just wants to be left alone, he is forced to release the monster inside of him. In doing so, he can tie up loose ends and face the life he left behind.

The trailer made this film look like it could have been this year’s version of Nobody, but it gets lost very early on as it can’t quite decide what it wants to be. Part comedy, part action, part satire, Love Hurts aimlessly drifts from scene to scene without defining itself. While some of the action is fun to watch, and there are moments where you might smile or give a slight cheer, they are too few and far between and for most of the film you find yourself fighting your own eyelids. The film also suffers from far too many problems to be enjoyable, such as poor camera angles, groan-inducing jokes, a bad script, and terrible casting.

There is no doubt that Ke Huy Quan’s story is a good one, and over the last couple of years his reemergence is nothing if not inspiring. This doesn’t mean however he is a leading man. This is proven time and time again in Love Hurts. He plays the Jackie Chan card too, where he always seems out of place in fight scenes, but for him it doesn’t work. This is most apparent in the final sequence when he’s fighting his brother. Daniel Wu has been fighting onscreen for over 25 years, and even he couldn’t make Quan look good in their action scenes together. In fact he looked bored during their fights.

Enjoying anything about Love Hurts is difficult, although watching Drew Scott of the Property Brothers take a bullet was one of them. It’s also hard finding good things to say about a film where a boba-loving crime lord uses straw, yes a straw, as a weapon. Perhaps it will become a cult classic years from now, or film schools will use this as a teaching tool to show film students what not to do. But regardless of what the future may bring, this is not a film most people will want to watch once, let alone watch a second time.