Painfully Stupid: A Review of ‘Ted 2’

Posted in Movies, Theatrical by - June 26, 2015
Painfully Stupid: A Review of ‘Ted 2’

Sometimes, movies just shouldn’t be made…but we are all human and when that dump truck of money gets backed up to the door, it’s hard to say no.  Seth McFarlane is unquestionably talented guy but with Ted 2 he pushes it way too far and comes through with a terribly lazy effort that actually only had one or two good jokes in the entire thing.

Ted (voiced by Seth McFarlane) is settling into the life of a newlywed with his bride Tami-Lynn.  They decide that they want to adopt a baby but hit an unexpected roadblock.  In order to become a parent and make a genuine impact, Ted has to prove that he is a sentient person in a court of law.

It’s easy to pile on Seth McFarlane, but with Ted 2 this feels like an effort to make a movie that required him to put in the least amount of effort but cash the biggest check.


The jokes were for the most part weak, the writing was formulaic and dull and the direction was stale.  Nothing about Ted 2 felt like anyone involved actually gave a rats ass.  It was formulaic, lowest common denominator kind of funny.  You laughed from time to time…but damnit you never felt all that good about it as they were jokes that picked on or belittled any kind of minority or just anyone the lead characters felt like were different from them as they smoked weed all day and chucked fruit at joggers.  It was bully comedy, and it was kind of pathetic as everyone involved in this one has proven that they know better.

OK, there are some good cameos and when McFarlane breaks into a song and dance number it’s fun, but when he is making gay jokes, drug jokes, minority jokes or just being everyone’s favorite cuddly asshole, it just doesn’t work.  If Mark Wahlberg used his check on this to launch more Wahlburger restaurants than that is OK by me, otherwise he is just spending an excruciating 115 minutes pretending to be an emotionally stunted lowlife towny.  It’s more annoying then funny even at its moments and Amanda Seyfried is seemingly the only other person in the movie that actually gets to execute a joke that is funny and not mean spirited (except at her own expense) and McFarlane rides that joke into the ground to the point that even it gets a little painful.Ted 2

Honestly, Ted 2 is just a lazy cash in of a movie that hopes you are too stupid to not know that this is just a blatant cash grab of a film that everyone got to have a great time on before they went and did something else.  I don’t like paying for anybody else’s working vacation, so why the hell should you?  Just avoid Ted 2 like you would a real bear, just haul ass away from it as fast as you can.

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David Voigt is a Toronto based writer with a problem and a passion for the moving image and all things cinema. Having moved from production to the critical side of the aisle for well over 10 years now at outlets like, Criticize This, Dork Shelf (Now That Shelf), to.Night Newspaper he’s been all across his city, the country and the continent in search of all the news and reviews that are fit to print from the world of cinema.
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